Aman 12:00:00 AM 14 Feb, 2017

At late night wife's mobile beeps. Husband checks her mobile and gets angry.
He wakens his wife.

Husband (angrily): who is this person saying beautiful???
Surprised wife checks her mobile.

Wife (double angrily): heyyy... use your spectacles. It is not beautiful. It is battery full.

Related to this Post:

#15978 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Late Night Party - Marriage Jokes
पप्पू .... पार्टी से रात को देर से घर गया।

अगले दिन दोस्तों ने उससे पूछा :-- बीवी ने कुछ कहा तो नहीं??

पप्पू :-- न न, कुछ खास नहीं... ये दो दांत तो मुझे वैसे भी निकलवाने थे...

#16720 Happy

12:00:00 AM 19 Mar, 2017

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.
'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie apeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live. It's brilliant!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

#17425 Happy

12:00:00 AM 22 Mar, 2017

$5000 a visit - Lawyer Jokes
The madam opened the brothel door in nevada and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
'May I help you sir?' she asked.
'I would like to see valerie,' the man replied.
'Sir, valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else' said the Madam.
'No, I would like to see valerie,' he replied.
Just then, valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts.
The price was still $5000. Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, valerie questioned the man, 'no one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?' she asked.
The man replied, ' minnesota.'
'Really', she said. 'I have family in minnesota.'
'I know.' the man said. 'your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 Inheritance.'

The moral of the story is that
Three things in life are certain.

1. Death
2. Taxes, and
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

#17462 Happy

12:00:00 AM 22 Mar, 2017

o need to get married - Marriage Jokes
"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night."

#17497 Happy

12:00:00 AM 22 Mar, 2017

Late Night Party - Marriage Jokes
पप्पू .... पार्टी से रात को देर से घर गया।

अगले दिन दोस्तों ने उससे पूछा :-- बीवी ने कुछ कहा तो नहीं??

पप्पू :-- न न, कुछ खास नहीं... ये दो दांत तो मुझे वैसे भी निकलवाने थे...