Happy 12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Husband : What would you do if I won the lottery?
Wife: I would take all money and leave you
Husband: Good I won $12, take it and get lost.

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#2277 ADMIN

05:30:00 AM 01 Jan, 1970

*Few naughty but true facts*
____________________

*Naked truth*
We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes...
but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
____________________

*Alteration*
Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
____________________

*Breaking news:* Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore!
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband...!!
____________________

*Choice*
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser.
Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
____________________

*Anti-Gravity situation*
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws of Gravity...!!
____________________
*Meat ball*
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure...!!
____________________

*Location of body parts*
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
____________________

*DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB*
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
____________________

*BALLS THEORY*
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman....
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
____________________

*EXPLANATION*
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
____________________

*VIAGRA*
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
____________________

*BURNING LOVE*
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Tiger balm by mistake

#7417 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 14 Feb, 2017

Husbands will be husbands
A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying
Pan “tuunnnnnnnn..”
“HUSBAND: What was that for?
WIFE: I found a paper in ur pocket with
the name ‘JULIE’ on it.
HUSBAND: I took part in a RACE last
week & JULIE was the name of my
HORSE.
WIFE: Sorry!
Next day wife hit him with the frying
pan AGAIN! “tuunnnnnnn..”
HUSBAND: why did u hit me again?
WIFE: Teri Ghodi ne aaj phone kiya
tha….... tongue emoticon

#8084 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

Why husbands avoid questions!
WIFE : What would you do if i died ? Would you get married again ?
Husband : No....
Wife : Why not ? Don't you like being married ?
Husband : Of course i do.
Wife : Then why wouldn't you remarry ?
Husband : Ok, ok, i'd get married again....
Wife : Would you live in our house with your new Wife....?
Husband : Yes, it's a great house.

Wife : Would you let her drive my car ?

Husband : Yes, its almost new, dear.

Wife : Would you give her my jewelry ?

Husband : No.. I am sure she would want her own..

Wife : Would she wear my shoes..?

Husband : No, her size is '6'

Wife : --silence--

Husband : 'shiiit'...!!

#8331 Aman

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

Oversmart Wife:

"If I Sleep With Your Most Loving & Close Friend,


What Will Be The First Thought In Your Mind?"


Smart Husband: "You Are A Lesbian"

#8435 Aman

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

Brand New jokes
Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.

Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??
Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !

#9756 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 16 Feb, 2017

Wife on call:"hey baby, what r you doing.....??
.
Husband:"office -­ ­ ­ me bahut kaam hai bus nipta ke aata hu. ..and u
sweet heart....??
.
.
.
.
.
wife:"mai club me tere piche khadi hu.

#16019 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Husband gets ready to go for yoga. Wife wakes up

Husband : Honey are you coming along with me for yoga?
Wife : What do you want to say!! I am fat?
Husband : No problem, don't come if you don't feel like!
Wife : What do you mean?? Am i lazy??
Husband : Honey .. Why are you getting angry??
Wife : That means i fight with you all the time?
Husband : When did i say that?
Wife : So it means i am lying??
Husband : Okay fine i am not going!!
Wife : I understand everything, actually you didn't want to go!!

The husband decides to remain silent and goes off to bed!

#16077 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Two Wives chatting in office :

Wife 1 : I had a fine evening, how was yours?

Wife 2 : It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins.

How was yours?

Wife 1 : Oh mine was amazing!

My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour.

When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work

Husband 1 : How was your evening?

Husband 2 : Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep.

And what about you?

Husband 1 : It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill. So I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn't have money left for a cab or auto.

We walked home which took an hour & when we got home, I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house .

MORAL : PRESENTATION DOES MATTER......
NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY IS

#16110 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

What is Vicious Circle:

The boss calls his secretary & says:
"Get ready for d weekend, We r going on a business trip."

The secretary calls husband & says:
"Me & my boss r going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of urself"

The husband calls his girlfriend and says:
"My wife is going on a business trip come home we can have fun"

The girlfriend calls the boy to whom she gives tuition and says:
"No tuition this weekend."

The boy calls his father:
"Dad, at last we can spend this weekend together."

Dad (The boss) calls his secretary & says:
"Business trip is cancelled.
"I'm going to spend weekend with my son"

The secretary calls husband:
"I won't be going"

The husband calls his girlfriend:
"I am sorry My wife is not going "

The girlfriend calls boy:
"You have tuition"

Boy calls his father & says:
"Sorry Dad, I've classes"
The Dad calls his secretary.........