TIPU Bareilly@99 12:00:00 AM 16 Feb, 2017

Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means?

Father: It means 'to be happy'.

Son: Are you gay?

Father: No, son. I have a wife.

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#17460 Happy

12:00:00 AM 22 Mar, 2017

01. Smart man + smart woman = Romance

02. Smart man + dumb woman = Pregnancy

03. Dumb man + smart woman = Affair

04. Dumb man + dumb woman = Marriage

05. Smart boss + smart employee = Profit

06. Smart boss + dumb employee = Production

07. Dumb boss + smart employee = Promotion

08. Dumb boss + dumb employee = Overtime

09. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
--> A woman will pay $1 for 2a $2 item that she doesn't need.

10. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

11. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

12. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

13. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

14. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

15. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there is no use in two people remembering the same thing.

16. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

17. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

18. A woman has the last wor2d in any argument.

19. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

20. In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
--> Then God created man and rested.
--> Then God created woman.
--> Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

21. Why do men die before their wives?
--> They want to.

22. A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."

23. Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
--> Two Mother-in-laws.

24. Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of --> Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
--> Dad: That happens in every country, son.

25. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted".
--> Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

26. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

27. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
--> Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

28. How do most men define marriage?
--> An expensive way to get laundry did for free.

29. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

30. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

31. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

32. A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
--> And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."