Happy 12:00:00 AM 18 Mar, 2017

To open the door - Stupid Jokes
Q. What would an angrez [american/british] say to his indian naukar [servant] who can only understand hindi if he wants him 2 open the door!!

A. "There Was A Cold Day " - (say it fast)!

Related to this Post:

#15900 Happy

12:00:00 AM 16 Mar, 2017

READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU DARE.
On a rainy day,
an old man was standing with a book for sale.
A young man came to buy.
He bought the book for Rs.3000.
Old man advised
"DONT OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK othrwise YOU'll get fainted"
Man finished the book with great fear but didnt open the last page.
.
.
.
But,after a week,
Out of curiousity he opend the last page and..

he almost fainted to see..
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Retail Price: Rs 30/-

#15979 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Corporate Rivalry - Office Jokes
Hilarious corporate rivalry; Beat this one!

Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store in New York: "Don't ever fart here; the smell will stay for ages. We don't have Windows"

And Tit for Tat from Microsoft in their premises: "Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple. We have been providing open window systems to the world since ages.

#16079 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you !
(You are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now!divorced; and living happily with their dog)
Don't laugh loud ----
The extended version says...
Put your husband in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before

#16140 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Boss : There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane. If you drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.

Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday

Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...

Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the aeroplane. Thats the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!

Moral: 'No matter how much you know or how much you are prepared . If your Boss has decided to screw you then you are surely screwed.'

#16284 Happy

12:00:00 AM 18 Mar, 2017

How to Identify Different Citizens of India:-

Scenario 1:
Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That's MUMBAI.

Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out & call their friends on their mobiles.
Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are definitely in PUNJAB.

Senario 3
Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along and tries to make peace. The first two get together and beat him up.
That's Rajasthan.

Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a tea stall.
"Welcome To Delhi".. :)

#16325 Happy

12:00:00 AM 18 Mar, 2017

READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU DARE.
On a rainy day,
an old man was standing with a book for sale.
A young man came to buy.
He bought the book for Rs.3000.
Old man advised
"DONT OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK othrwise YOU'll get fainted"
Man finished the book with great fear but didnt open the last page.
.
.
.
But,after a week,
Out of curiousity he opend the last page and..

he almost fainted to see..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Retail Price: Rs 30/-

#16360 Happy

12:00:00 AM 18 Mar, 2017

. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more ]
*********************
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
*********************
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheeler like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
*********************
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
*********************
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
*********************
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.
*********************
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
*********************
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
*********************
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
*********************
Q. What is the difference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
*********************
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
*********************
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
*********************
Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
*********************
Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
*********************
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
*********************
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
*********************
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
*********************
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
*********************
Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

#16699 Happy

12:00:00 AM 19 Mar, 2017

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more ]
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
******************************************************************************************************
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

#16960 Happy

12:00:00 AM 19 Mar, 2017

A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his shoulders. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"
The fellow says, "Sand!"
The guard wants to examine them. The fellow gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground, opens them up, and the guard inspects... only to find sand. The fellow packs the sand, places the bags on his shoulders, and pedals the bike across the border.
Two weeks later, the same situation is repeated...
"What have you there?"
"Sand"
"We want to examine."
Same results... nothing but sand and the fellow is on his way again.
Every two weeks for six months the inspections continue. Finally, one week the fellow didn't show up. However, the guard sees him downtown and says to the fellow, "Buddy, you had us crazy. We sort of knew you were smuggling something. I won't say anything what were you smuggling?"
The fellow says, "Bicycles."