Aman 12:00:00 AM 13 Feb, 2017

When I Was Buying Yippie Noodles today ,

I Heard My Maggi Saying to me ...

Wah Verma Ji

"Ham thode befawa kya hue

Aap to badchalan ho gaye .

Related to this Post:

#467 ADMIN

07:50:24 AM 11 Aug, 2016

Too green the springing April grass,
Too blue the silver speckled sky,
For me to linger here, alas,
While happy winds go laughing by,
Wasting the golden hours indoors,
Washing windows and scrubbing floors
Too wonderful the April night,
Too faintly sweet the first May flowers,
The stars too gloriously bright,
For me to spend the evening hours,
When fields are fresh and streams are leaping,
Wearied, exhausted, dully sleeping

#2277 ADMIN

05:30:00 AM 01 Jan, 1970

*Few naughty but true facts*
____________________

*Naked truth*
We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes...
but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
____________________

*Alteration*
Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
____________________

*Breaking news:* Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore!
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband...!!
____________________

*Choice*
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser.
Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
____________________

*Anti-Gravity situation*
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws of Gravity...!!
____________________
*Meat ball*
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure...!!
____________________

*Location of body parts*
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
____________________

*DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB*
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
____________________

*BALLS THEORY*
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman....
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
____________________

*EXPLANATION*
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
____________________

*VIAGRA*
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
____________________

*BURNING LOVE*
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Tiger balm by mistake

#7905 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 14 Feb, 2017

I was confused when I read one of the girl's facebook status as,

"Bang Bang tomorrow night"... Feeling Excited! - With Rahul and 12 others...

I was more confused when her next status was ..haider was better..

#8077 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

The real ICE Bucket Challenge was

when parents used to say ''Chullu

bhar pani mein doob maro'' after

the exam results.

#9571 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 16 Feb, 2017

Ladkiya nahi sudharengi..

The ATM machine jammed (stopped working) because of...
.
.
.
.
.
An intelligent girl put her hair pin in the machine when option was to.."Enter Your PIN

#15786 Happy

12:00:00 AM 15 Mar, 2017

Star Dinner just for Rs. 100
Once a beggar got Rs.100/-
He decided to have a Royal Dinner that night...

He went to a 5 star hotel... ordered ...food one after the other...

When the bill came...It was of Rs.3000/-

The beggar told Manager that he did not have any money....
The Manager handed him over to the police...
The beggar gave Rs.100/- to Police and set himself free....

#15909 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Here are two engineers, one of them has hacked others website and try to using this. Just imagine if these two engineers named accordingly their nature and other characters also in same manner. Like good man is Ram, Bad man is Rawan, Website is Seeta.com and other characters are also names from Ramayana, this is pure imagination so don't take it seriously and enjoy imagination]
Ram: Someone has hacked my website; I am not sure who is he but I am unable to access it. I must know who has done that, Laxman, Laxman [loudly].
Laxman: Yaa, what happened?
Ram: what the hell were you doing? I appointed you as the chief security software engineer and you couldn't save your first websites. Someone has hacked Seeta.com.
Laxman: Ram brother, I wasn't there at the time of hacking Seeta.com needs an Add-on on emergency basis and she was popping up "Need: Golden Deer" again and again. So I went to google.com for the same software and when I again maximized up the Seeta.com it was gone already, Raawan did it,�I also disabled the download manager, software update etc using Laxman-Rekha.
Ram: Who is Rekha new joiner?
Laxman: Not bro, it's a software to prevent viruses, I developed it.
Ram: Oh you developed it, that's why!,�anyway call anyone expert who can trace that how did it happen?
Laxman: I know someone named Jatayu Fadiya, who can trace the whole hacking, but in between if Raawan try to access websites Seeta.com then?
Ram: Don't Worry, Seeta.com can not allow anyone to access itself it has been made with default user Ram and with a very secure property called "Pativrataa".
You! Call Jatayu immediately.
Laxman: He is out of network area; I think he must be flying high today.
Ram: Call him continuously, and get connected as he comes little lower.
Laxman: Ok.
Laxma:n: [After sometime]: Bro we get it.
Ram: Ok mail me the detailed.
Laxman: I thought it's urgent.
Ram: ok tail me first but don't forget the mail, and also CC that mail to Bali and Arjun.
Laxman: Ram, Arjun is not available, it will come in future OS, Microsoft Mahabhatarat.
Ram: Ok, than mail Bali and inform him on mobile also that we need a support to find and destroy the hacker ASAP. Who is he anyway and why did he hack our new website?
Laxman: Talk to jatayu for that... he can explain you in detailed.
Jatayu: Hi Ram.
Ram: Hi Jatayu! What's this sound?
Jatayu: Actually I am just flying little above. Anyway for you information He is Raawan, an extraordinary mind student from Shivbhakt Institue, owner of Gold Lanka Consultancy in Srilanka, from our OSC Vibhishan we got information that Raawanalso registered a website named Seeta, but Janak rejected his plea, And one of his sister Surabankha also wanted to join your brother's firm, but Laxman rejected her in interview. That's why in frustration Raawanhacked our Seeta.com.
Ram: but how did he break Laxman's Laxam-Rekha software?
Jatayu: He used some fraud name "Swami" and as you know in your company Raghukul you can't stop someone with names like, "Swami", "Bhikchuk", "Bhakt", etc. Raghukul Reet sadaa chali aayi, "Virus Aa Jaye Par User Naa Jaye".
Ram: Thanks Jatayu, bye. Laxman Mail this to Bali also.
Laxman: ok.
Ram: [After little time] Anyway Laxman what's the status of Bali, is he progressing in right way.
Laxman: yes I talked to him they are making a mirror way to enter Rawan's server, ther are making some Ram-Setu bridge for the Path.
Ram: ok. And what else we need to get back Seeta.
Laxman: as per my knowledge, Raawan has few good software to protect his servers, one of them kumbhkaran, Who eats a lot space in installation and very slow software, but provides a good security, and another one is Meghnath, tracing Meghnath is very tough, he is having good knowledge of JAVA and makes himself invisible and than attack using Jar applications.
Ram: I think the bridge process has been completed and we are ready to attack on Kumbhkaran, Meghanath and Raawan finally.
Laxman: I am starting a SCAN using Angad and other small softwares.

#15976 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Drinkers Are Practical People - Bar Jokes
A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar. A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes and the Lady said
"Tell me!!! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor... Do you think the Lord will let you in ???"

"My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man,
"When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind."

Moral.....

Drinkers are practical people.

#16076 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Arrested for laughing

This is from an actual trial in the UK.

A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her, she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more.

She filed a court case on him. In the court the man said to judge in his defense was:

When the lady boarded the bus, I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.

She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon- The unknown boon"..

I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement,

Which read:- "William's stick did the trick".. Then I could not control myself any longer,

When on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident"..

The case was dismissed.

The judge fell off his chair laughing!