arman 12:00:00 AM 30 May, 2017

Wish you and your family
A very Happy New Year.

Hope every day of this
New Year enlightens your

Life with breezy moments
To be cherished forever

With whole lot of fun and
Happiness embedded with it.

Related to this Post:

#8051 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

The Whatsappia disease!!

1) Waking up in the morning and the first thing you do is check your WhatsApp!

2) Checking peoples "last seen" and judging at what time do they sleep/wake up!

3) Stalking peoples status and wishing that you could have the same one!

4) Checking out a friends profile picture for a rather long time!

5) Continuously checking a persons "last seen" if he/she hasn't yet replied!

#15913 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Phone call from hell
Narasimha Rao, Mulayam Singh Yadav and Laloo Yadav died and reach hell. All 3 of them desperately feel like talking to their family members. So, when Yamaraj asks them for one last wish they say that they would want to make a phone call to their respective houses. Yamaraj says, 'OK, but you will be charged at international rates for the phone call!'.

Next they make a phone call each and are then given their bill. Narasimha Rao's bill will read Rs. 50,000, Mulayam Singh's, Rs. 45,000 and Laloo's bill Rs. 1.50.

Narasimha Rao and Mulayam Singh are pretty upset and think this is unfair, 'How could you charge him just Rs. 1.50?'.

Yamaraj replies, 'That's because from hell to Bihar it's only a local call.'

#16360 Happy

12:00:00 AM 18 Mar, 2017

. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more ]
*********************
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
*********************
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheeler like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
*********************
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
*********************
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
*********************
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.
*********************
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
*********************
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
*********************
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
*********************
Q. What is the difference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
*********************
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
*********************
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
*********************
Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
*********************
Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
*********************
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
*********************
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
*********************
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
*********************
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
*********************
Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

#16699 Happy

12:00:00 AM 19 Mar, 2017

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more ]
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
******************************************************************************************************
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

#16720 Happy

12:00:00 AM 19 Mar, 2017

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.
'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie apeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live. It's brilliant!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

#17097 Happy

12:00:00 AM 19 Mar, 2017

Santa on Honeymoon - Sardar Jokes
Santa and Jeeto were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 10th wedding anniversary.
Jeeto said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon."
"As you wish," said Santa.
"Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?" asked Jeeto.
"Ok," said Santa.
"And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?" asked Jeeto.
"That's right," said Santa, "except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, Its too big, its too big!"

#17180 Happy

12:00:00 AM 20 Mar, 2017

Santa is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie.

It says, "I will give you three wishes." Santa thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. Santa starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill.

The genie asks about his next two wishes.

Santa says, "I want two more of these."

#17349 Happy

12:00:00 AM 22 Mar, 2017

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

#17407 Happy

12:00:00 AM 22 Mar, 2017

First Visit - Blonde Jokes
The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.

"We've been trying for months now, doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably.

"I'm sure we'll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her.

"If you'll just take off your clothes and get up on the examining table."

"Well, all right, doctor," agreed the young woman, blushing, "but I'd rather have my husband's baby.

#17460 Happy

12:00:00 AM 22 Mar, 2017

01. Smart man + smart woman = Romance

02. Smart man + dumb woman = Pregnancy

03. Dumb man + smart woman = Affair

04. Dumb man + dumb woman = Marriage

05. Smart boss + smart employee = Profit

06. Smart boss + dumb employee = Production

07. Dumb boss + smart employee = Promotion

08. Dumb boss + dumb employee = Overtime

09. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
--> A woman will pay $1 for 2a $2 item that she doesn't need.

10. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

11. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

12. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

13. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

14. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

15. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there is no use in two people remembering the same thing.

16. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

17. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

18. A woman has the last wor2d in any argument.

19. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

20. In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
--> Then God created man and rested.
--> Then God created woman.
--> Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

21. Why do men die before their wives?
--> They want to.

22. A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."

23. Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
--> Two Mother-in-laws.

24. Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of --> Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
--> Dad: That happens in every country, son.

25. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted".
--> Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

26. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

27. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
--> Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

28. How do most men define marriage?
--> An expensive way to get laundry did for free.

29. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

30. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

31. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

32. A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
--> And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."