TIPU Bareilly@99 12:00:00 AM 13 Feb, 2017

life of an indian guy:

traffic- 21%

dad's "tere se nahi hoga"- 22%
boss' abuse- 12%

girl's "lets stay frenz"- 14%

watching "loading.."- 31%

Related to this Post:

#117 ADMIN

03:09:06 AM 11 Apr, 2016

*Very interesting & meaningful msg 2 share:*

*If:*
*A B C D E F G H I J K LM N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z*
*is equal to:*

*1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26*

*Then,*

*H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K*
=8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11
*= 98%*

*K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E*
=11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
*=96%*

*L+O+V+E*
= 12+15+22+5
*= 54%*

*L+U+C+K ;*
=12+21+3+11
*= 47%*

*None of them makes 100%.*
*Then what makes 100%?*

*Is it Money?*
.
.
.
*NO!*

*M+O+N+E+Y*
= 13+15+14+5+25
*=72%*

*Leadership?*
.
.
.
*NO!*

*L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P*
=12+5+1+4+5+18+19+8+9+16
*=97%*

*Every problem has a solution,
only if we perhaps change our*

*"ATTITUDE"...*

*A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E ;*
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5
*= 100%*

*It is therefore OUR ATTITUDE towards Life*
*and Work that makes*
*OUR Life 100% Successful.*

*Amazing mathematics*

*Beautiful msg to share:*
*Do you agree that we have 26 alphabets in English, as given below*

*A = 1 ; B = 2 ; C = 3 ; D = 4 ;*
*E = 5 ; F = 6 ; G = 7 ; H = 8 ;*
*I = 9 ; J = 10 ; K = 11 ; L = 12 ;*
*M = 13 ; N = 14 ; O = 15 ; P = 16 ;*
*Q = 17 ; R = 18 ; S = 19 ; T = 20 ;*
*U = 21 ; V = 22 ; W = 23 ; X =24 ;*
*Y = 25 ; Z = 26.*

*With each alphabet getting a number,
in chronological order, as above, study the*
*following, and bring down the total to a single digit and see the result yourself*

*Hindu -*
*S h r e e K r i s h n a*
19+8+18+5+5+11+18+9+19+8+14+1
=135
*=1+3+5 = 9*

*Muslim*
*M o h a m m e d*
13+15+8+1+13+13+5+4
= 72
*= 7+2 = 9*

*Jain*
*M a h a v i r*
13+1+8+1+22+9+18
=72
*= 7+2= 9*

*Sikh*
*G u r u N a n a k*
7+21+18+21+14+1+14+1+11
=108
*=1+0+8 = 9*

*Parsi*
*Z a r a t h u s t r a*
26+1+18+1+20+8+21+19+20+18+1
=153
*=1+5+3 = 9*

*Buddhist*
*G a u t a m*
7+1+21+20+1+13
=63
*= 6+3 = 9*

*Christian*
*E s a M e s s i a h*
5+19+1+13+5+19+19+9+1+8
=99
9+9=18
*1+8 = 9*

*Each one ends with number 9*

*THAT IS NATURE'S CREATION TO SHOW THAT GOD IS ONE !!!*

👈 *who ever created this msg's great.....*
👌👌🌟✨✨💖💖

#465 ADMIN

07:49:39 AM 11 Aug, 2016

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimm’d:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st:
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee

#2277 ADMIN

05:30:00 AM 01 Jan, 1970

*Few naughty but true facts*
____________________

*Naked truth*
We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes...
but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
____________________

*Alteration*
Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
____________________

*Breaking news:* Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore!
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband...!!
____________________

*Choice*
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser.
Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
____________________

*Anti-Gravity situation*
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws of Gravity...!!
____________________
*Meat ball*
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure...!!
____________________

*Location of body parts*
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
____________________

*DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB*
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
____________________

*BALLS THEORY*
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman....
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
____________________

*EXPLANATION*
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
____________________

*VIAGRA*
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
____________________

*BURNING LOVE*
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Tiger balm by mistake

#2420 ADMIN

05:30:00 AM 01 Jan, 1970

What is Success?

*At the age of 4 years ...* *Success is.....*
That you do not urinate in your pants,

*At the age of 8 years ...* *Success is.....*
To know the way back home.

*At the age of 12 years,* *success is........*
To have friends.

*At the age of 18 years,* *success is.......*
To get a driver's license.

*At the age of 23 years,* *success is.......*
To graduate from a university.

*At the age of 25 years,* *success is........*
To get a job

*At the age of 30 years,* *success is........*
To be a family Man.

*At the age of 35 years,* *success is........*
To make money.

*At the age of 45 years,* *success is.......*
To maintain the appearance of a young man.

*At the age of 50 years,* *success is.......*
To provide good education for your children.

*At the age of 55 years,* *success is...*
To still be able to perform your duties well.

*At the age of 60 years,* *success......*
To still be able to keep driving license

*At the age of 65 years,* *success is.......*
To live without disease.

*At the age of 70 years,* *success is........*
To not be a burden on any one.

*At the age of 75 years,* *success is........*
To have old friends.

*At the age of 80 years,* *success is.......*
To know the way back home.

*At the age of 85 years,* *success is.......*
That not to urinate in your pants again.

one of the best messages I have ever read.

Life is a cycle

#8477 Aman

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

The importance of number 4 in our life!
4 dino ka pyar o rabba lambi judai...
4 dino ki chandni, phir andheri raat
4 kitabein toh padh li, Ab 4 paise bhi kama lo...
Akhir hamari bhi 4 logon me izzat hai
Ye baat 4 log sunenge to kya kahenge... ke 4 din ki aayi bahu ne ye kamal kiya
4 din to ghar me tik ke baith jati
Tum se kya 4 kadam bhi nahi chala jata?
Wo aai aur 4 bateein suna ke chali gayi
1 aur.....
4 bottle vodka kaam mera roz ka
Ab message kya dekh rahe ho... 4 logo ko share kar do...

#8481 Aman

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

Frustrated professional life-
Boss: kaha Gaye the ?
Employee: Baal katwane
Boss: office hours me ?
Employee: Baal badhe bhi to office hours me hee hai...
Boss: ghar me bhi to badhte hai
Employee: Takla thodi na kiya hai...jitne

office me badhe the utne hee katwaye hai....

#9642 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 16 Feb, 2017

Pati ne Biwi ko sms kiya-
"Thanks for making
my life wonderful &
being a part of my life.
You're great...!!!"

Biwi ka jawaab turant aaya-
"Kitne peg ho gaye?"

#15683 Happy

12:00:00 AM 15 Mar, 2017

Kaya hai a daily life jara dekha jai--
husband: "Mujhay Janwaron k Doctor k paas lay chalo"
Wife: "kon hai wo?"
husband: "Roz Subah Murghay ki tarah uthta hoon;
Ghoray ki tarah bhaag k Office jata hoon;
Gadhay ki tarah kaam karta hoon;
Ghar a ke sab par Kuttay ki tarah bhonkta hoon;
Aur Raat ko Bhains k sath so jata hoon..

#15989 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Overloaded By Life - Bar Jokes
If ever u feel overloaded by life, wife or work ....
Immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center & place order for any 1 or more of the following Antidotes:

1. Wife Irritation Neutralizing Extract (WINE)
2. Refreshing Unique Medicine (RUM)
3. Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER)
4. Vaccino Officio Depression Killing Antigen (VODKA)
5. Wife High Infusing Suspicion Killing Energy Yeast (WHISKEY)

This is issued in public interest by Buddies for Eradication of Work Disease Association (BEWDA)