Aman 12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

Why do all lndian woman wants d same husband,

in next life...?

Arree itni mushkil se trained kiya hai.. .

waste thoda jane denge

Related to this Post:

#100 ADMIN

02:53:22 AM 11 Apr, 2016

3 Idiots part 2.....
Rancho: *Smiling* πŸ˜„

Teacher: Aap muskura kyu rahe ho? 😳

Rancho: Bahot dino se Whatsapp me account banane ki ichha thi...aaj bana diya hai...bohot maza aa raha hai.πŸ˜ƒ

Teacher: Zyaada maza lene ki zarurat nai hai...
Tell me, what is a Post?

Rancho: Anything that is posted on Whatsapp is a Post, Sir.😌

Teacher: Can you please elaborate? 😀

Rancho: Sir...jo bhi Whatsapp pe log daalte hai post hai sir...
Ghumne gaye...photo daal diya! Post hai Sir.
Match dekha, score daal diya!
Post hai Sir...
Katrina ki pic se Ronaldo ki kick tak! Sab post hai sir!
Ek second me comment, ek second me reply!
Comment-reply...
Comment-reply... πŸ˜†

Teacher: Shut up! Account banake ye karoge? Comment-reply.. Comment-reply..? 😠
Haan Chatur, tum batao.

Chatur: Pictures, texts or videos posted through mobile or tablet via different operating systems using internet on whatsapp is called a Post... 😏

Teacher: Excellent!😘

Rancho: Par sir maine bhi toh wahi bola seedhe shabdo mein...πŸ˜•

Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me karna hai toh Facebook ya twitter ke pages pe account banao... 😑

Rancho: Par sir dusre sites bhi toh...

Teacher: Get out! 😑😑😑

Rancho: Why sir?😧

Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me bahar jaiye.

Rancho goes out and comes back.

Teacher: Kya hua?

Rancho: Kuch bhool gaya tha sir.

Teacher: Kya?

Rancho: A utility button given to us, to protect our private data i.e. pictures, messages or personal information for being stolen or used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else...😐

Teacher: Arre, kehna kya chaahte ho!?!?😳

Rancho: Logout sir! Logout karna bhool gaya tha. 😏

Teacher: Toh seedha seedha nahi bol sakte the?!😩

Rancho: Thodi der pehle try kiya tha sir, Aapko pasand nahi aaya...πŸ˜•









Jaldi forward karo, market mein naya hein
😜😜😜😜😹😹?🌱

#2277 ADMIN

05:30:00 AM 01 Jan, 1970

*Few naughty but true facts*
____________________

*Naked truth*
We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes...
but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
____________________

*Alteration*
Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
____________________

*Breaking news:* Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore!
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband...!!
____________________

*Choice*
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser.
Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
____________________

*Anti-Gravity situation*
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws of Gravity...!!
____________________
*Meat ball*
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure...!!
____________________

*Location of body parts*
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
____________________

*DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB*
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
____________________

*BALLS THEORY*
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman....
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
____________________

*EXPLANATION*
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
____________________

*VIAGRA*
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
____________________

*BURNING LOVE*
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Tiger balm by mistake

#7471 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 14 Feb, 2017

KID :- Why some of ur hair are white dad...?

DAD : – Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white…

KID :- Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white…

Moral :- Don’t be over smart...



Child : Mummy why Gandhi has no hair on his head...?

Mummy : Because he speak only truth...

Child : Now I understud why ladies have long hair...

Don't laugh alone, share with others

#8069 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

Why do we say - Pyaar Mein Gir

Gya (fall in love)?
.
.
.
Because if we say "Pyaar Mein

Khada Ho Gya" toh double-

meaning ho Jayega!

#15909 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Here are two engineers, one of them has hacked others website and try to using this. Just imagine if these two engineers named accordingly their nature and other characters also in same manner. Like good man is Ram, Bad man is Rawan, Website is Seeta.com and other characters are also names from Ramayana, this is pure imagination so don't take it seriously and enjoy imagination]
Ram: Someone has hacked my website; I am not sure who is he but I am unable to access it. I must know who has done that, Laxman, Laxman [loudly].
Laxman: Yaa, what happened?
Ram: what the hell were you doing? I appointed you as the chief security software engineer and you couldn't save your first websites. Someone has hacked Seeta.com.
Laxman: Ram brother, I wasn't there at the time of hacking Seeta.com needs an Add-on on emergency basis and she was popping up "Need: Golden Deer" again and again. So I went to google.com for the same software and when I again maximized up the Seeta.com it was gone already, Raawan did it,οΏ½I also disabled the download manager, software update etc using Laxman-Rekha.
Ram: Who is Rekha new joiner?
Laxman: Not bro, it's a software to prevent viruses, I developed it.
Ram: Oh you developed it, that's why!,οΏ½anyway call anyone expert who can trace that how did it happen?
Laxman: I know someone named Jatayu Fadiya, who can trace the whole hacking, but in between if Raawan try to access websites Seeta.com then?
Ram: Don't Worry, Seeta.com can not allow anyone to access itself it has been made with default user Ram and with a very secure property called "Pativrataa".
You! Call Jatayu immediately.
Laxman: He is out of network area; I think he must be flying high today.
Ram: Call him continuously, and get connected as he comes little lower.
Laxman: Ok.
Laxma:n: [After sometime]: Bro we get it.
Ram: Ok mail me the detailed.
Laxman: I thought it's urgent.
Ram: ok tail me first but don't forget the mail, and also CC that mail to Bali and Arjun.
Laxman: Ram, Arjun is not available, it will come in future OS, Microsoft Mahabhatarat.
Ram: Ok, than mail Bali and inform him on mobile also that we need a support to find and destroy the hacker ASAP. Who is he anyway and why did he hack our new website?
Laxman: Talk to jatayu for that... he can explain you in detailed.
Jatayu: Hi Ram.
Ram: Hi Jatayu! What's this sound?
Jatayu: Actually I am just flying little above. Anyway for you information He is Raawan, an extraordinary mind student from Shivbhakt Institue, owner of Gold Lanka Consultancy in Srilanka, from our OSC Vibhishan we got information that Raawanalso registered a website named Seeta, but Janak rejected his plea, And one of his sister Surabankha also wanted to join your brother's firm, but Laxman rejected her in interview. That's why in frustration Raawanhacked our Seeta.com.
Ram: but how did he break Laxman's Laxam-Rekha software?
Jatayu: He used some fraud name "Swami" and as you know in your company Raghukul you can't stop someone with names like, "Swami", "Bhikchuk", "Bhakt", etc. Raghukul Reet sadaa chali aayi, "Virus Aa Jaye Par User Naa Jaye".
Ram: Thanks Jatayu, bye. Laxman Mail this to Bali also.
Laxman: ok.
Ram: [After little time] Anyway Laxman what's the status of Bali, is he progressing in right way.
Laxman: yes I talked to him they are making a mirror way to enter Rawan's server, ther are making some Ram-Setu bridge for the Path.
Ram: ok. And what else we need to get back Seeta.
Laxman: as per my knowledge, Raawan has few good software to protect his servers, one of them kumbhkaran, Who eats a lot space in installation and very slow software, but provides a good security, and another one is Meghnath, tracing Meghnath is very tough, he is having good knowledge of JAVA and makes himself invisible and than attack using Jar applications.
Ram: I think the bridge process has been completed and we are ready to attack on Kumbhkaran, Meghanath and Raawan finally.
Laxman: I am starting a SCAN using Angad and other small softwares.

#15916 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood.

The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.

The Arab replied "Bapu.....now I have Gujju blood in my veins!"

#15968 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Best Answer - Office Jokes
Question:
In India, why do the bride's parents generally bear all marriage expenses?

CA student's Brilliant answer......

"Because as per Indian law, excise duty on production is
payable by the manufacturer at the time of dispatch of goods."

#16016 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Mom: Son, get up its time to go to college.
Son: No Maa.. I don't want to go to college.
.
.
Mom: Give me 2 reasons why don't u want to go to college
Son: 1. All students hate me
2. All staff hates me..
.
.
Mom: Ooh! That's not a reason
C'mon, you must go to college
Son: Give me 2 reasons why I should go to college
.
.
Mom:" 1. U are not a kid, you are 47 years old
2. U are the Principal of the college
.
.
Moral: Sirf bachchon ka hi man nahin karta chhutti karne ka.

#16019 Happy

12:00:00 AM 17 Mar, 2017

Husband gets ready to go for yoga. Wife wakes up

Husband : Honey are you coming along with me for yoga?
Wife : What do you want to say!! I am fat?
Husband : No problem, don't come if you don't feel like!
Wife : What do you mean?? Am i lazy??
Husband : Honey .. Why are you getting angry??
Wife : That means i fight with you all the time?
Husband : When did i say that?
Wife : So it means i am lying??
Husband : Okay fine i am not going!!
Wife : I understand everything, actually you didn't want to go!!

The husband decides to remain silent and goes off to bed!