TIPU Bareilly@99 12:00:00 AM 14 Feb, 2017

He : Hey Wassup ?

She : Eating Apple. You Say ?

He : Eating Samsung tongue.png

Blocked aur Ghar pe patthar fek ke gayi wo

alag

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#2277 ADMIN

05:30:00 AM 01 Jan, 1970

*Few naughty but true facts*
____________________

*Naked truth*
We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes...
but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
____________________

*Alteration*
Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
____________________

*Breaking news:* Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore!
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband...!!
____________________

*Choice*
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser.
Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
____________________

*Anti-Gravity situation*
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws of Gravity...!!
____________________
*Meat ball*
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure...!!
____________________

*Location of body parts*
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
____________________

*DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB*
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your
resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
____________________

*BALLS THEORY*
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman....
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
____________________

*EXPLANATION*
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
____________________

*VIAGRA*
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
____________________

*BURNING LOVE*
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Tiger balm by mistake

#5445 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 11 Feb, 2017

he: hey hi

she: i have a boyfriend

he: okay, bhai to banale

she: ok, but as a friend

#6885 Aman

12:00:00 AM 13 Feb, 2017

GF: Where are you?

BF: hospital,had an accident

GF: When will they discharge you?

BF: in 2 days

GFgasp.pngk,ghar jake recharge karwa dena mera

#6949 Aman

12:00:00 AM 13 Feb, 2017

She : Hey
Me : Hello
She : Suggest Me A Good android Phone
Me : Oneplus One Lelo ..Mast Phone Hai
She : Oneplus One ,Two Hota Hai Pagal ..Main Phone Puch Rahi Hun
Me : Tu Ghar Ja Bahan

#7283 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 14 Feb, 2017

Me : Hey Baby

She: Who the hell are you and number kaha se mila tujhe ?

Me: Sulabh Sauchalaya me likha tha

*Blocked*

#7508 Aman

12:00:00 AM 14 Feb, 2017

At late night wife's mobile beeps. Husband checks her mobile and gets angry.
He wakens his wife.

Husband (angrily): who is this person saying beautiful???
Surprised wife checks her mobile.

Wife (double angrily): heyyy... use your spectacles. It is not beautiful. It is battery full.

#7898 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 14 Feb, 2017

Pati aur patni ki

Ladai ke baad

Patni : Hey Bhagwan
:
Agar “Yeh galat hai toh Inhe utha lo
.
Aur
.
“Mein galat hu toh.
. .
Mujhe vidwa

Banado...!!

#8023 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

Husband wife both die in a car crash.

Husband becomes bhoot. Wife becomes Dayan.

They both meet after some time.

Wife: Kitne changed lag rahe ho bhoot bankar.

Husband: pagli, Par tum bilkul nahi badli. Still the same

#8079 TIPU

12:00:00 AM 15 Feb, 2017

He: hey what's your name?

She: Trisha

He: oh to tum laut aayi aakhir..

*blocked*